Kicking it old school

Lack of subject matter is forcing me to kick it myspace style and do a survey blog. Enjoy.

I Am:

A lean mean blogging machine.

I Want:

A nice place to live that is in a great neighborhood… or a puppy

I Have:

One hand in my pocket and the other is playing a piano.

I Wish:

I had the DVD set of “How I Met Your Mother”

I Hate:

When I’m witty after the fact.

I Fear:

Tornadoes and frogs or worse- a tornado of frogs!

I Hear:

You got beef?!

I Search:

With Google

I Wonder:

Who READ the book of love- much less who wrote it

I Regret:

Not learning how to take shots in college

I Love:

Puppies, cupcakes, and AbbieV

I Ache:

I burn! I yearn!

I Always:

Say- “Dance like no one’s watching”

I Usually:

Lie about things “I always say”

I Am Not:

A crook!

I Dance:

With glow sticks

I Sing:

Down down do ya thang do ya thang

I Never:

Look a gift horse in the mouth- ever.

I Rarely:

Make friend with people who use the word “hater”

I Cry:

At every episode of Extreme Home Makeover

I Am Not Always:

Going to be this boring- I promise- follow me anyway.

I Lose:

To no one!

I'm Confused:

About that hair bump some girls wear.

I Need:

Extensions in my hair and bamboo earrings – at least 2 pairs.

I Should:

Be more active so I have something REAL to blog about.

I Dream:

Of Sparks and Doritos.

And as an added bonus- an old school pic of me, Jen and Crystal posing like Paris Hilton.

I give them cigarettes and their eyes light up!

I'm moving over my MySpace blogs to this one to double your pleasure. This one is from my weekend with Jen in Orlando:

• “Hi I’m Garret” – Wow Garret you look really drunk. “I do?” Yeah- your eyes aren’t even open.
• Stop leaning on the heater! You are going to set me on fire!
• I was in the bathroom and these girls were talking about me! Let’s go beat that white trash whore’s ass!
• Yeah we like to help the homeless. I give them a pack of cigarettes and their eyes light up!
• He acts like he’s helping them- but he is just passively killing off the homeless via lung cancer.
• Can we go downstairs where the drinks are $2? Wow, your shirt is free and you only buy $2 drinks- you are really selling yourself here!
• “STOP! - on the count of 3 I want everyone to break it down!” (I’m the only one “breaking it down”) Hey you- I saw you- good work.
• (my signature on the receipt)
• I want you to talk to this girl while I’m in the bathroom. Hi, I’m Ashley. See? You already have so much in common.
• Are you with her? (kisses Jen’s hand)
• They sell soap in France? I thought the French didn’t bathe- no one is going to buy that shit
• Is that your girl Anthony? Want us to pretend we don’t know you? Or should we stand in line and talk you up?
• He’s a Crippie. A crippled hippie… I’m going to hell
• Look at that crazy tan line! She looks like she is wearing thigh highs!
• I don’t think anyone here owns a mirror at home
• I looked back at you guys to see if you saw her belly- I can’t believe no one had a reaction!
• Raise the roof!
• I’ll pretend it tastes like marshmallows if you let me have some more.
• Well… he’s either really smart or he’s a great liar
• I need a cigar- I feel like Monica Lewinsky
• (my French impression)
• David Beckham represents America?!?
• Is that a Regan Doll? (goes straight to the counter to buy it)
• I just remembered that you rearranged Jen’s top eight. That’s right Bryan – you are still #2. I’m going to call you #2 all day long.
• (me and Bryan starring in the mirror talking about cavities)