Texts from Abbley

Here is a real text conversation with The Golfer. This is why I love his goofy ass:

Me: I touched a snake in the warehouse by accident!

Golfer: That is the scariest thing I've ever heard of.

Me: I don't want to be here now it's under the shelf.

Golfer: Was it a deadly one?

Me: Black widow I think

Golfer: Or maybe a great white

**Btw- this actually happened today. I accidently touched a snake at work. It was hiding in a box I was reaching in to. I'm putting my two weeks in...

My camera is still broke. This is what it looked like though:

Credit

D * O * double G you see

Rewind Wednesday-

C3 and I love to capture on "film" (anybody using film out there?) the ridiculous things people like to put on their cars and car windows. We spotted this gem coming back from Panama City Beach one year:

This was homemade window decal on an RV. Truly one of out best finds. Maybe one day I'll put all of our cars in a picture scrapbook...

Shish my boyfriend says Volume I

I can't take credit for the idea of this post(livitluvit.com- for some reason is not linking but check it out- she is hilarious)- but my boyfriend provides me with material too good not to share.

Recently we've purchased a condo together. Our decorating ideas might not mesh...

golfer: "when you picture our new carpet... are you picturing BLUE like I am?"

me: "no."

golfer: "are we too old to not frame the things that go on our wall?"

me: "are you talking about hanging posters in our house?"

golfer: "yes"

me: "yes, we are too old for posters."

PSA- check your credit report!

Listen to this mess.

The Golfer and I have been trying to buy a condo for about a month now. We have the biggest bunch of clowns working for us to make this happen. Now, everyone says they felt the same way when they bought a house- blah, blah, blah. But I wonder how many people have had this happen to them... (intrigued aren't you?)

Our first mistake is not having our own Realtor- we went with the selling agent. In fact, we have never even met our Realtor- so we really have no one on our side looking out for our best interests.

Moving on... the real issue is with our Mortgage Broker who we refer to as "Mo Bro" because he talks as if he is a 21 year old, smoking his bong all day long. (we have never met him either)Friday was our closing day and despite 3 extensions and a $1,500 increase in our closing costs- the closing was going to happen. I go in at 10:30 and sign my life away on a the largest packet of papers I've ever seen. While signing, I noticed that my SS# was incorrect on every paper. Directed by the title lady- I crossed off the incorrect number and wrote in the correct one. I even made a joke about Mo Bro being a F*** up and not correcting the SS# when I noticed the mistake MONTHS ago.

So I'm waiting and waiting to hear from my Realtor about when/where I can get the key to my new place (she was conveniently decided to go to Miami on our closing date). Around 4:30 I was informed that my loan was back in underwriting because the entire loan had been based on someone else's SS#!!! Now, my Mo Bro says this is not the case, that something else has caused a delay in me getting my key, but another person from his company says that it is in fact, in underwriting. Now I have $9,500 out of my checking account, no key to my condo, and no idea what is going on!

So, let this be a lesson to everyone. Check your credit reports! Because some poor unsuspecting person has had their credit ran, god knows how many times, for a condo they know nothing about!

Everyone out there please send happy thoughts that I get this condo. I think at this point they should just give it to me. That seems fair, right?

**I like to include pictures with each post but my camera is broke. I've chosen this kitten to represent my frustration because nothing shows anger like a cute kitten that appears to be screaming.

bishes and hoes and losers and losers

Can I just say that The Sweetest Thing is the best girly movie ever? And I am not just saying that because I have had 3 Blue Moons (ok- 4 Blue Moons). I love it! It is truly how my girlfriends and I are. Love it. I miss my friends.

source

F the Polar Bears

We've all seen the Noah Wyle PSA about polar bears. It's so obnoxious. Polar bears? Really? I'm from Florida, I say that we save the manatee. They've been on the endagered species list forever! Where are the celebrities lining up for this cause? Manatees are called gentle giants. Never will a manatee maul you to death. Manatees are curious, friendly, herbivores. Polar bears are vicious, unpredictable carnivores. F polar bears! That's what I say!

** this my friends, is a pin that my brother bought me when I was in 3rd grade. I begged for this thing. ha.**

So I wanted to add the actual Noah Wyle commercial and found this. Apparently I am not the only one that thinks this is ridiculous.