2009!

I love the new year. As someone that loves to create goals and actually has a 5 year plan... I love the excitement of "change" and "new" that are associated with the New Year.



1. Change my workout routine. I need a shakeup with my workout. I'm going to stick with the spinning classes I just started - but the rest of my workout/diet will be very similar to the Body For Life Program. I'll let you know how that goes in 12 weeks.

2. Pay off credit cards. Okay, okay, this is my stupid goal every year and I have yet to do anything REAL to make this happen. But 2009 I'm going to stop whining and finally get... gulp... a 2nd job. Sad, I know but also very necessary.

3. Cut back on my TV time Abbie and I pride ourselves on being the couple that sits and watches TV every night (we make fun of the "I don't ever watch TV" types). But I do think that maybe cutting back wouldn't be such a bad idea- at least during the week. I think I'll save my TV time for only my favorite shows like: Gossip Girls and The Office


4. Yes Woman Caught up in the spirit of Jim Carey's Yes Man- I hope to become a Yes Woman myself. I'm very much a stick-to-my-schedule gal. I'm now going to accept any and all invitations (within budget anyway).

5. ??? I need a fun goal. I'm open to suggestions.

MVICE

Attention guy in a maroon 1997 thunderbird with rims and blue high-beam lights with the license plate MVICE... you're a jerk! Stay out of Naples ass wipe.

Christmas in NY

So I am back from my amazing Christmas vacation in NY. We did nothing but Eat, Drink, and watch The Office- what more could you ask for?

I am excited to cross off "Christmas in New York" from my Bucket List. It was everything I wanted it to be.

Bunkie's first day of work...

Today was Bunkie's first day of work. No more freeloading - she now has to officially earn her keep.

Her typing is atrocious - but her people skills are unbelievable.

** btw- I realize that writing blogs about my dog also belongs on the "things white people like" blog (see below)

over it

I'll admit it- I thought it was very cute the first time I heard of an ugly Christmas sweater party. Unfortunately the trend is so widespread that the novelty has worn off and now it's just a bunch of people in ugly sweaters. I found this blog that drives my point home.

Stuff White People Like

Love, Ashley

Still in the Christmas spirit, last night I sat down with a glass of wine and sent out Christmas cards for the 1st time ever. Word to the wise... do not buy Christmas cards that already say "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" - otherwise you have nothing additional to write and you'll find yourself just signing "Love, Ashley" instead.

**for those who do not receive a card from me- don't worry, I only sent them to people I didn't get gift for. :-)

Making a list and checking it twice...

Christmas Checklist:
□ Buy a tree
□ Bake cookies
□ Make a gingerbread house
□ See a Christmas movie
□ Drink eggnog
□ See snow (I’ll need help with this one)
o Make a snow angel
□ Buy presents
□ Sing Christmas songs
□ Kiss under the mistletoe
□ Decorate house
o Put up Christmas lights
□ Send out cards
□ Get picture taken with Santa
□ Hang stockings
□ Buy a Toys for Tots gift
□ Eat a candy cane
□ Drink cider
□ Sit by a fire
□ Drink hot cocoa
□ See family
□ Drive around and look at Christmas lights

O' Tannenbaum

Abbie and I put up our Christmas tree! It has been about four years since I've had a tree (because of cats). It was so exciting pulling out all of my Santa ornaments that have been shoved under my bed in blue Rubbermaid containers for all these years.

The overly priced 7' Frasier Fur looks a little lopsided and poorly lit (who would have thought 100 lights wouldn't be enough!)- but it's our first tree and we are happy!

Bunkie however, was clearly not in the Christmas spirit.

hmmm...

I was walking Bunkie and noticed this. Can you see what is wrong with this picture?

Thanksgiving

My first time hosting/cooking Thanksgiving dinner!

My Dream Come True!

I found this story online. This is my dream come true!


HATTERAS, N.C. -- Pass the salsa.

Dozens of bags of Doritos that washed up on Hatteras Island last week came from one of four massive cargo containers that was swept off a ship during a storm, the Coast Guard says.

The container -- about 45 feet long, the size of a standard tractor-trailer -- was spotted floating near Diamond Shoals on Wednesday.

Steve Hissey, who runs the tackle shop at Teach's Lair marina in Hatteras, said charter boat captains spotted the container and opened it -- in longstanding Outer Banks tradition, which holds that anything coughed up from the Graveyard of the Atlantic is fair game for salvage.

The container appeared to have been filled with about 400 3-foot by 4-foot boxes of Doritos, each holding about 20 individual bags, according to John McCutcheon, Cape Hatteras National Seashore district ranger for Hatteras Island.

The National Park Service spent most of Thursday securing the site and using two bulldozers to remove the container, McCutcheon said. Meanwhile, dozens of people roamed the beach with garbage bags to pick up the chips from the tide line.

The Coast Guard said Friday that the container was one of four that washed off the container ship Courtney L during a storm the night of Nov. 22-23 as it sailed somewhere near the Virginia-North Carolina line. The other three have yet to be located.

One was filled with another, unknown Frito-Lay product, and the other two held paper products, said Coast Guard Petty Officer Kevin Schneider of the Marine Safety Team in Elizabeth City.

The ship is owned by Great White Fleet Ltd. of Cincinnati, a subsidiary of Chiquita Brands International, and was carrying its cargo from Wilmington, Del., to Costa Rica, Chiquita spokesman Mike Mitchell said.

Great White is responsible for cleanup and removal costs, McCutcheon said. But no lasting impact was noted.

"There's no resource damage, except for the chip or two that a bird might have eaten," McCutcheon said.

Sushi Tour '08

Last night kicked off Abbley's Sushi Tour 08. Our goal is to eat at every sushi place in town before year end.

Noodles was our first stop on the sushi tour. We ordered:

HOT LUV BAHAMAS*
Inside out conch, masago,
cucumber, and spicy mayo

FIRECRACKER ROLL
Fresh salmon on top of
salmon, cucumber, and
spicy sauce

SPICY TUNA ROLL
Tuna, cucumber, and
scallion

Portions were nice. Sake was so-so. They spicy tuna was great but the other two rolls were in spicy/gross sauces that made them taste horrible.

Overall we gave Noodles a 5 on a scale of 1-10. It's an Italian restaurant- so we didn't expect too much from them in the first place.

Do not go to the Hair Cuttery!

In an effort to save money I decided to forego my usual $60 haircut at Felix Andrews Salon and go for a simple trim at the Hair Cuttery.

Never again! My hairdresser was clearly hung over from the night before as she reeked of beer and cigarettes. Her hair didn’t even look washed.

ATTENTION HAIRDRESSERS: IF YOUR JOB IS MAKING HAIR LOOK GOOD- YOU SHOULD AT THE VERY LEAST WASH YOUR OWN HAIR BEFORE GOING TO WORK!

According to the very large sign posted in their waiting room- my hair cut was supposed to be $23. Somehow my bill came to $40 though. I was duped with a $7 “long hair” fee and an iron fee of $10 for the two tiny pieces she flat ironed- which by-the-way I tried to stop her hung over ass from doing because I wasn’t sure she was capable of NOT burning me.

I made out easy though. Another lady was getting her hair dyed. Upon the big reveal, I hear her hairdresser exclaim: “Now don’t worry, I can fix this! I promise your hair won’t look like this before you leave!”

The Hair Cuttery will now be added to the list of Naples’ businesses with poor customer service…right next to AT&T.

Girls Gone Wild

Crystal's "low key" bachelorette party turned out to be one of the best parties I've ever been apart of. It reminded me of our wild days - back when we were considered to be in our "early twenties" and we would hit up Larry's or go to concerts with our Meyers and Dr. Pepper... loaded.

Although the bar was fun and there were plenty of people that wanted to participate in our celebration- the slumber party afterwards was by far the best. Nothing beats good girlfriends, drinks, calorie laden snacks (including a penis cake), and singing "girls just wanna have fun" at the top our lungs.

Look at these!

2 years, 2 months and $4,000 later, I finally got my braces off! This was a surprisingly difficult experience to go through. I would like to thank all of my friends- especially Crystal, who endured all my whining and bellyaching during this whole process. I would also like to apologize to anyone who I made delete, remove, or crop pictures that I felt “showed too much metal.” I am beyond happy with the results- I can’t believe it’s me in the mirror. Anyone that has ever considered getting braces as an adult- I would absolutely recommend it.

Bring on the red wine, blue cotton candy and Bubble Yum!

Obama said knock you out...

Halloweinies

Happy Halloween!

I can't remember the last time I've carved a pumpkin. It was so much fun!

A Legend

Bought John Legend's new CD. LOVE IT! Those who aren't in the know... John Legend is the shit. Buy it!


**btw- "Green Light" CD version is much better than the radio cut**

Armstrong Famous Chili

Last night I made the Armstrong Famous Chili; a recipe that has been handed down from generation to generation. I will now share this recipe with the world:

2 cans of Bush’s Best Chili Beans Medium
1 lbs. hamburger meat
Cheese
Crackers

Cook the hamburger meat. Heat cans of beans. Mix the two. Add generous amount of cheese and crackers. Enjoy!

It's the Great Pumpkin!

Someone needs to give Linus the heads up that The Great Pumpkin is actually at Fresh Market and not in the pumpkin patch.

Prison Break

I think Prison Break is giving me an ulcer. Abbie rented season 1 and we’ve watched an episode every day this week. The term “TV drama” is an understatement - with murder, shanks and toe removals- this show STRESSES me out! I don’t think I can make it through the next four episodes.

I think I’ll just stick with my Gossip Girls. You don’t see Chuck Bass losing any of his little piggies!

What's the story morning glory?

This morning I had the realization that the impossible has happened- that I have turned into “a Morning Person.”

This realization hit me today as I was walking Bunkie at 6:30am, in the rain, with a smile on my face. Crazy-I know. And a far cry from the person I used to be; a person who was once asked if my vitamins kicked in late because I “wasn’t a nice person until 12pm.” Ouch.

Not anymore though… now I am up at 6am ready to start a new day… then again… maybe this is just the Dunkin Donuts coffee talking…

Jam

Anybody else worried about Jim and Pam?

EPCOT Food and Wine Festival

Abbie and I went to Epcot's Food and Wine Festival this past weekend. The Festival makes drinking around the world even better with their extra "countries" aka food and beverage kiosks. The wines at these additional booths were $2 - $3 so it was better on the wallet as well. We even had the opportunity to hobnob with the wine snobs at the Francis Ford Coppola wine tasting.(“hmmm… this one smells like… red … red wine…”)

My boyfriend's back and your gonna be in trouble...

hey la hey la my boyfriend's back!

Abbie is back in Florida for good... or till May anyway...

Oh those boys are much too much...

I LOVE this commerical.

Blame it on the Rain

Am I alone in feeling that I am owed an apology from NBC-2 News for telling me all week that Saturday was going to be a beautiful day when in fact it was a poopie rainy day? My heart was broken when my plans of going to the beach and getting "brown as a biscuit" were changed to drinking 4 Sparks with Jess and watching old movies.

Happy 25th Sasha!

(I stole this from Crystal's blog. Colton is officially the cutest baby ever)

facts on oral cancer

Coast Dental is the worst! They asked me to sign off on my charges before the actual exam. The total bill was $100:

$30 – Fluoride treatment
$10 – Exam
$60- Oral cancer screening

Oral cancer screening?!What a load of crap! They even play a DVD in the waiting room about the dangers of oral cancer to scare you into paying for the test. Looks like someone is trying to rip off their customers...

Here are some oral cancer facts:

Oral Cancer
The risk for oral cancer increases with age. The American Cancer Society (ACS) reports that more than half of oral cancer patients are 65 years of age or older - and that oral cancer is twice as likely in men as women.

The ACS also reports the following:

Primary risk factors for oral cancer are:

Tobacco use - an estimated 90 percent of oral cancer patients use tobacco. A smoker is six times more likely to develop oral cancer than a non-smoker. Smokeless tobacco users are at 50 times the risk of oral cancers of the cheek, gums and inner surface of the lips.

Alcohol use - over 75 percent of oral cancer patients drink alcohol more than occasionally. While heavy drinkers are at higher risk for oral cancer, both drinking and smoking can be a deadly combination.

I am not over 65, I am not a male, I don’t smoke and I’m not an alcoholic. I refused cancer screening as well as the fluoride treatment- my bill was $10. Suckas!

xoxo Gossip Girl

In celebration of S taking over as Queen "B"- pardon the pun- on GG, Jess and I donned our best hair scarves and knee highs.Champagne and GG Mondays are the BEST!

McCainiacs

Leave it to Jen and Adam to take an important event, the 1st presidential debate, and make it into a drinking game. Leave it to Jess and I to play along.

The four of us are now McCainiacs – due to his incessant use of the words America, strategy, and fundamentals that got us WASTED! God Bless America!

Still the champ

Dictionary: champion (chăm'pē-ən)

One that wins first place or first prize in a competition.

One that is clearly superior or has the attributes of a winner.

An ardent defender or supporter of a cause or another person: a champion of the homeless.

One who fights; a warrior.

We didn't have no internet

Since today is the first day of fall, I would like to start a petition for radio stations to stop playing All Summer Long ever again because it has literally been playing ALL SUMMER LONG. I swear if I hear Kid Rock one more time I’m going to punch a wall. It is on the radio every other song and is considered both a country and pop song- so there is no escaping the beyond horrible lyrics of this so- called summer anthem.

“We didn't have no Internet (double negative) But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair”

AND THE CLASSIC…

“And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things”

Seriously? Did he just rhyme “things” with “things”? The video to this brainless ditty is equally as terrible, with one scene being a boat with a stripper pole on the back and hooched out geishas dancing around it in their bikinis. I feel sorry for our younger generation of women who look at these DGs as something that is desirable.

Coyotes, Birds and Frogs Oh My!

These past two weeks I’ve lived in constant fear. I don’t want to go home, and when I am home I am scared to leave. Tropical Storm Fay has manifested my (2nd) biggest fear- frogs. Frogs everywhere. In the hallway, by my door, on my windows, the banister, the sidewalk- these teeny tiny slimy disgusting tree frogs are everywhere! I’m beyond scared of having one (or several) jump on me. I look spaz walking Bunks. I whiz down the stairs as fast as I can and bob and weave on the sidewalks to avoid them. As if my fear of coyotes and birds wasn’t enough- now I have to deal with this!


filthy creatures
**don’t worry this picture was taken from far, far away so that I was in no danger

Rain check or the Rain King?

Two years ago Crystal and I bought 2 tickets to see the Counting Crows. A week before the concert we ending up winning 4 extra tickets- something I took to be a sign from the heavens above reaffirming that not only did I belonged at that concert, but that I was to share the goodness that is the Counting Crows with my friends. (Sadly we had no friends and had to share with strangers instead)

Fast forward to now… Counting Crows is headlining with Maroon5 another one of my favorite bands. I was heartbroken to learn that Abbie would not be able to attend the concert with me. His absence coupled with the fact that I am completely broke, forced me to decide NOT (gasp!) to attend this year's concert. Lo and behold I receive an email from Live Nation with Counting Crow tickets for $10!!!

Could it be another sign?

Fat boy on diet... don't try it...

After two weeks of scarfing down French toast, Red Baron Pizza, and Sparks (mmmm… Sparks) it’s time to “cleanse” the body and get back into shape. My diet of choice, flashback to the 80’s… the Cabbage Soup Diet.

Day One:
Eat all of the fruit you want. Eat only your soup and the fruit for the first day.
Day Two:
Eat all the vegetables you want along with your soup.
Day Three:
Mix Days One and Two: Eat all the soup, fruits and vegetables you want.
Day Four:
Eat as many as eight bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you would like on this day, along with your soup.
Day Five:
Ten to twenty ounces of beef and up to six fresh tomatoes. Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water this day. Eat your soup at least once this day.
Day Six:
Eat to your heart's content of beef and vegetables this day.
Day Seven:
Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables.


I've never made it to the 7th day- and I don't intend to this time either. By day three I can't stand even the thought of the nasty soup. This will be hard...

You really can wear it anywhere!

Just getting my money's worth of my bridesmaid dress...

the devil's lil helpers

Towing companies are the root of all evil. I wish them all the very same demise as the Naples Yoga instructors for charging insanely high prices ($220!) for no reason.

I also spit on the staff of my apartment complex for enforcing a parking pass permit policy (say that 3 times fast) and only giving one notice, 4 weeks ago, of this new policy before calling on the devil's lil helpers aka West Coast Towing to clear out my parking lot. Bastards.

Always a Bridesmaid ...