New York New York

I'm off to NY to see Abbie!

I hate when you have to meet someone at the airport. You always feel like you have to have a movie moment where you drop your bags and run to the person waiting for you and make a huge lovey dovey scene.

What usually happens is you make eye contact with the person you are meeting about a mile away. And you are forced to maintain that eye contact as you walk self consciously hoping your zipper is up and hair is in place. An awkward hug then ensues and you make small talk about the plane ride all the way up to baggage claim. Why don't they show that in the movies?

I think too much...

"I'll be right with you"

Let's talk about a little thing call CUSTOMER SERVICE. Something that the employees at AT&T, Staples and Pier 1 of Naples know nothing about.

Even when I was sixteen years old, working at Sears in the Junior's Department, I knew how to provide quality customer service.

This week at both Staples and Pier 1 in Naples (yes, i am calling you out) I was waiting to check out and the employee was busy working on something when I walked up (understandable). However, both employees at both stores didn't even acknowledge me until they were done (rude). IT IS COMMON COURTESY TO SAY "I'll be right with you." so that I am not just standing there wondering if I have somehow made myself invisible to the clerk!

And my customer service at AT&T off of Radio Road was the WORST. The salesgirl didn't even get off her chair and walk around the counter to help me. She instead barked instructions from a seated position while typing a text to her friend. FURTHERMORE- I made it clear that I was in a hurry to buy the phone that was out of stock. She said that she would call me as soon as it was in. What she failed to mention was that she had the next day off. Good thing I called or else I would have never known the phone was in and ready to be picked up!WTF!

rude. rude. rude.

*** on a happier note... is my new phone cute or what!?! ***

My Goal in Life

I remember meeting with one of my sales reps. She was telling me how her family was cutting back on their spending. She says to me, "I told my girls (16 years old) that they are just going to have to start paying for their own pedicures now."

Wow. Is that normal? Mothers paying for pedicures? I've always seen it as a luxury.

Is it sad that now my new goal in life is to earn enough money to get pedicures regularly? Until then, looks like I'll be painting my own little piggies.

More from Sin City

- You better save your girl... "nah- she can run." Shiiiiit, I can sprint!
- Flashbacks- "I'm cronfused." "hands in the back, hands in the back"
- Here's my pickup line "I drive an 82 Acura" No seriously - I do.
- I would totally fall for a guy that said "I have a puppy... wanna come back to my place?"
- (Harrah's pool DJ- nobody wants to relive this)
- This is just like the pool at the Palms... just 30 years later.
- I don't do blue drinks- braces.
- Tony- show her how you swim! Tony- give tiffanie a hug! Tony- don't you smile! Tony- sing for Tiffanie!
- Ok girls! you need to pick which one of you is going to be really embarrassed (both point to Shanna)
- Shanna's BJ Drink.
- hmmm... i guess rat tails are back in style.
- What do you sell? plastic? is that plastic? is that acrylic? Lucite? oh- plastic?
- Spit Shanna! you know you don't swallow anyways.
- I'll have the baked beans ... on second thought... I'll have the fries
- Tiffanie? you ok in there!?!? Maybe we should give her some privacy.
- Shanna: I have to go to the bathroom... again.
- Hi, my name is Sing. Hi, my name is Math.
- Here, I'll pour that for you (drink all down Ashley's leg). um.. Let's go! now!
- You've only had 3 beers?!?! wow. how are you going to make it through this weekend?
- I NEVER SAID I WANTED TO GO TO EXPRESS!... yes you did! i said: "they have an Express do you want to go there?" you said: "yes" ... Oh, yeah, i might have said that.
- Friday = in bed at 9pm :-(
- Let's just say I didn't wake up alone. That's all im going to say about that.
- you have to put your shoes on or you will step on glass. "I WOULD RATHER WALK ON GLASS THAN WEAR THESE SHOES!"
-So you dont work in Vegas? Did he give you some of our $100? (I think he thinks we are hookers)
- Hey he thinks we are hookers. Ok- well let me get a free drink and we'll go, ok?
-(drunk girl pushing her way up to the bar- throws money all over bar)
-Do you have my name on your body too? "I bet you $20 I have your name on my leg!"
- Elbowing people away by dancing crazy.
- He heard what you said. Hey! you heard what she said right? Yes you did- tell her you heard what she said.
- vacant and vacant

Vegas Baby

Here's what I think about Vegas...

There is just too much pressure to have insanely wild, irresponsible, naughty fun in Vegas. So what if I worked all day and want to take a nap? Sure I'll sleep when I'm dead- but I'm tired now!

And I don't care if there are only old people at the Harrah's pool- I refuse to wait in line and pay $20 to sweat in an overcrowded, STD infected pool at the Palms. Besides - I look like a dime in a bag of pennies at Harrah's.

And sure the restaurants are unbelievable in Vegas - but when you are living on a shoestring budget and are paying $14 for a teeny tiny glass of Vodka Tonic - McDonald's isn't a bad choice for dinner - I have priorities you know. Besides, I need to drink something to deal with all the spiky hair assholes that think they can grab my waist as I walk by them in the club.

Lastly, if I hear "What happens in Vegas..." again- I'll stab someone in the eye. Although I guess it is kinda of funny for my friend Dennis whose Rolex stayed in Vegas ... along with the hooker that jacked it from his hotel room. Shame shame!

Go big or go home right?

Today was my 1st day at running. I made the commitment out load to Abbers yesterday - so now I must follow through.

It sucked.

Every time I run I think to myself "This is exhausting. Why am I doing this to myself?" But at the same time I've always really admired people that can run. Not to mention every health "success story" in my Shape magazine is a result of running.

My ears were cold and my face was red. 20 minutes later I was laying in bed still trying to catch my breath. But I did it - and that's what counts. And Bunks was happy- so that's a plus.

I also followed up this workout with oatmeal and green tea. Go big or go home right?

Ha. I hate that saying.

Because when the sun goes down...

I love when people come to visit me. It is always a good excuse to go see the sunset. The best part is the 20 old people who line their chairs up on the beach and cheer and clap when the sun disappears. "Bravo God! Bravo!"

Sunset - Beach - Coronas - Publix subs ... what more could you ask for?


On a completely separate note... I found another phrase that I have been saying incorrectly for God knows how long...

it's Down Pat not Down Packed. oh well.

Crosswalks and Revolving Doors

I just returned from Chi-town. My first time there. Actually, it was my first time in a big city period. What a different world! I've always been a Florida girl- never had I had to deal with revolving doors, crosswalks, or public transportation- other than the occasional cab I took home when I had too many Myers and Diet Coke.

Being a Florida girl the cold was a huge shock to my system. But cold air and all... I fell in LOVE with the city. Everything about it - the old buildings, the varying heights, sights, textures and sounds and of course the beautiful and oh - so- fashionable people.

The sidewalks were crammed with pedestrians and the streets were jammed with cabs . I would think that it must be so easy to meet people- even to just converse for a minute or two- (comment on the weather or traffic)

For those who have never been to Naples FL- here is how it compares:

Chicago- Must walk and/or take public transportation
Naples- Must own a car- we only have one city bus whose stops are few and far between

Chicago- Endless shopping
Naples- Coastland Center Mall

Chicago- Sears Tower
Naples- Naples Pier

Chicago- Bumping Nightlife- bars and clubs open till 4am
Naples- 2 clubs that close at 2am

Chicago- FREEZING COLD WEATHER!
Naples- Cold = 75 degrees

I have to admit- having the beach almost makes up for all the other things Naples lacks. It truly is paradise- but I do plan on visiting the Windy City again... only this time it will be in the summer.

I give them cigarettes and their eyes light up!

I'm moving over my MySpace blogs to this one to double your pleasure. This one is from my weekend with Jen in Orlando:

• “Hi I’m Garret” – Wow Garret you look really drunk. “I do?” Yeah- your eyes aren’t even open.
• Stop leaning on the heater! You are going to set me on fire!
• I was in the bathroom and these girls were talking about me! Let’s go beat that white trash whore’s ass!
• Yeah we like to help the homeless. I give them a pack of cigarettes and their eyes light up!
• He acts like he’s helping them- but he is just passively killing off the homeless via lung cancer.
• Can we go downstairs where the drinks are $2? Wow, your shirt is free and you only buy $2 drinks- you are really selling yourself here!
• “STOP! - on the count of 3 I want everyone to break it down!” (I’m the only one “breaking it down”) Hey you- I saw you- good work.
• (my signature on the receipt)
• I want you to talk to this girl while I’m in the bathroom. Hi, I’m Ashley. See? You already have so much in common.
• Are you with her? (kisses Jen’s hand)
• They sell soap in France? I thought the French didn’t bathe- no one is going to buy that shit
• Is that your girl Anthony? Want us to pretend we don’t know you? Or should we stand in line and talk you up?
• He’s a Crippie. A crippled hippie… I’m going to hell
• Look at that crazy tan line! She looks like she is wearing thigh highs!
• I don’t think anyone here owns a mirror at home
• I looked back at you guys to see if you saw her belly- I can’t believe no one had a reaction!
• Raise the roof!
• I’ll pretend it tastes like marshmallows if you let me have some more.
• Well… he’s either really smart or he’s a great liar
• I need a cigar- I feel like Monica Lewinsky
• (my French impression)
• David Beckham represents America?!?
• Is that a Regan Doll? (goes straight to the counter to buy it)
• I just remembered that you rearranged Jen’s top eight. That’s right Bryan – you are still #2. I’m going to call you #2 all day long.
• (me and Bryan starring in the mirror talking about cavities)